250 Funny Duck Jokes & Farmyard Jokes (To Keep You Laughing)
What are some good duck jokes?
Duck jokes and humor have made us giggle for years. From Donald and Daffy Duck to Joey’s pet duck on Friends, duck characters are a staple in cartoons and entertainment.
Get the best list of witty duck jokes, duck puns, and other funny farm jokes that will get you quacking…I mean laughing!
Plus, all the farmyard jokes on this list are for good clean fun with family and friends.
Use duck jokes:
- As ice breakers
- In the classroom
- In the car
- At family mealtime
- For lifting moods and relieving stress (source)
Also, find farmyard jokes: goat, pig, cow, horse, and chicken jokes in this list!
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Funny Duck Jokes
First, these funny duck jokes are bound to make you quack out loud!
1. What time do ducks get out of bed?
Answer: At the quack of dawn.
2. Who stole the expensive soap from the bathtub?
Answer: The robber duckie
3. What do you call two ducks named Jack?
Answer: Quacker Jacks
4. How does a duck read a secret message?
Answer: He quacks the code.
5. What’s a duck’s favorite food?
Answer: Cheese and quackers
6. Why do ducks avoid doctor ducks?
Answer: Because they are all quacks.
7. What do you see when a large duck ice skates?
Answer: A quack in the ice.
8. What do you call a duck that makes funny remarks?
Answer: A wisequacker.
9. How do ducks make repairs?
Answer: They use duck tape.
10. What’s a duck’s favorite ballet?
Answer: The Nutquacker!
11. Why did the duck go to the chiropractor?
Answer: To get it’s back quacked.
12. Why did the duck get detention?
Answer: He couldn’t stop quackin’ jokes in class.
13. Why did the duck have to go to the auto shop?
Answer: His windshield was quacked!
14. Why did the duck get a second job?
Answer: He had too many bills.
15. Why do ducks make great detectives?
Answer: They always quack the case.
16. What is a duck’s favorite zoo animal?
Answer: Quack-odiles.
17. Why do ducks quack?
Answer: Because they can’t moo.
18. Why do ducks fly south for the winter?
Answer: Because they don’t have a driver’s license.
19. Why did the duck cross the road?
Answer: To follow the chicken.
20. Why did the teenage duck get grounded?
Answer: He used fowl language.
21. Why was the duck put into the basketball game?
Answer: To make a fowl shot. (Related: Funny Riddles About Sports)
22. Which side of a duck has the nicest feathers?
Answer: The outside
23. What’s a duck’s favorite movie?
Answer: Lord of the Wings
24. What is storytime called when you read to ducklings?
Answer: Ducktales.
25. What’s a duck’s favorite part of the news?
Answer: The feather forecast.
26. What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck?
Answer: Milk and quackers.
27. What do you get if you cross a duck and a fireman?
Answer: A firequacker.
28. What do you get if you cross a duck and a vampire?
Answer: Count Quack-ula
29. What do you get if you cross a flowerpot and a duck?
Answer: A quackpot.
30. What do you get if you cross a duck and a parrot?
Answer: An animal that says “Polly wants a quacker!”
31. What do you get if you cross a duck and a rooster?
Answer: I don’t know, but I bet it tastes fowl!
32. Why do ducks never grow up?
Answer: Because they grow down.
33. What is a duck’s favorite state?
Answer: South Duck-ota.
34. Why don’t ducks like reading directions?
Answer: They prefer to wing it.
35. Why do ducks visit the bank?
Answer: To get more bills.
36. What did the cow tell the duck when she heard she won the lottery?
Answer: “You lucky duck!”
37. What do you call when it’s raining chickens and ducks?
Answer: Fowl weather.
38. What do ducks and spiders have in common?
Answer: Webbed feet.
39. Why don’t ducks needs smartphones?
Answer: The web is already on their feet.
40. What kind of egg does an optimistic duckling hatch from?
Answer: Sunny side up.
41. Where do tough ducks come from?
Answer: Hard-boiled eggs.
42. What kind of eggs does a disorderly duckling come from?
Answer: Scrambled.
43. What did the duckling tell his mother when he wasn’t feeling well?
Answer: “I’m feeling under the feather.”
44. What fabric softener do ducks use?
Answer: Downy.
45. Why did the duck get a red card in the football game?
Answer: For fowl-play.
46. Why was the baby duck sad?
Answer: He was feeling down.
47. What do you call a kind and successful duck?
Answer: A waddle citizen.
48. What do you call a ghost duck?
Answer: A poultrygeist.
49. What’s a baby duck’s favorite game?
Answer: Beak-a-boo
50. Why did the duckling cross the playground?
Answer: To get to the other slide.
Related: Ice Breaker Questions For Kids & Teens
Best Duck Puns & Jokes
Next, these duck puns will make a play on words that you’ll definitely think is punny!
51. What do mallards like to watch on TV?
Answer: Duck-umentaries.
52. What happens when ducks tell jokes?
Answer: They quack up.
53. What game do ducklings play?
Answer: Quack the whip.
54. What is a duck’s favorite time of day?
Answer: The quack of dawn.
55. Where do ducks go when they are sick?
Answer: The ducktor’s office.
56. What do ducks like to dip chips in?
Answer: Quack-amole!
57. What does a male duck wear when getting married?
Answer: A duck-sedo.
58. How do ducks make pancakes?
Answer: They use Bis-quack.
59. Why did the duck almost fall on the sidewalk?
Answer: She tripped on a quack.
60. What does a duck put in his soup?
Answer: Quackers
61. What’s a duck’s favorite part of the Fourth of July?
Answer: The fire-quackers!
62. Who has webbed feet and fangs?
Answer: Count Duck-ula
63. What do ducks say when something gets thrown at them?
Answer: “Duck!”
64. Why did the ducks rebel against their flock leader?
Answer: He was a duck-tator.
65. What did the doctor tell the duck?
Answer: He had a clean bill of health.
66. What did the duck say when the waiter brought the check?
Answer: “Put it on my bill.”
67. What do you get when you put six ducks in a box?
Answer: A box of quackers
68. What game did the duck play at the arcade?
Answer: Quack-a-mole.
69. What does a duck say when they hear something crazy?
Answer: “That’s reduckulous!”
70. What game does a duck play at a bar?
Answer: Bill-iards
71. What do young ducks carry their school books in?
Answer: Quack-packs.
72. Where do ducks go shopping?
Answer: The mall-ard.
73. How do ducks propose?
Answer: With a wedding wing.
74. Where do ducks live?
Answer: Bill-dings!
Related: Fun True or False Questions and Yes or No Game Questions
More Quack Jokes
From knock knock jokes to one-liners, do you know the punchline to these duck jokes?
75.
76. Where does a royal mallard live?
Answer: At Duckingham Palace.
77. What does the duck think about his Canadian cousin?
Answer: He thinks he’s a bit of a loon.
78. What do you see when a duck bends over?
Answer: It’s butt quack
79. What do teenage ducks hate?
Answer: Voice quacks.
80. What does a duck do when he hears a joke he likes?
Answer: He quacks up!
81. How do ducks talks?
Answer: They don’t. They quack.
82. What document did the duck politician write on his mouth?
Answer: The bill of rights
83. What happens when a duck flies upside down?
Answer: It quacks up.
84. What do you call a smart duck?
Answer: A wise quacker.
85. What happens if a duck with hiccups lays eggs?
Answer: It lays scrambled eggs.
86. What did the duck say when he dropped his plate?
Answer: “I hope I didn’t quack it!”
87. What’s a duck’s favorite type of popcorn?
Answer: Quacker Jacks
88. Why do ducks like campfires?
Answer: They love seeing them quackle at night.
89. What do you call a rude duck?
Answer: A duck with a quackitute.
90. How can you tell two rubber ducks apart?
Answer: You can’t, they look egg-xactly the same!
91. Why are ducks good at budgeting?
Answer: They know how to handle bills.
92. What do you call a crazy duck?
Answer: A wacky duck!
93. When is roast duck bad for your health?
Answer: When you’re the duck.
94. What was the secret agent duck named?
Answer: James Pond
95. What do you call slang between two young ducks?
Answer: Ducklingo
96. How did the duck parents know their duckling was a genius?
Answer: He was eggcellent from birth!
97. What do you call it when a group of mallards is making too much noise?
Answer: Quackophany
98. What language can a duck who converses with geese speak fluently?
Answer: Portu-geese
99. What did the duck say when she bought new lipstick?
Answer: “Put it on my bill!”
100.
Related:
Farmyard Jokes
Next, these funny farmyard jokes include llama, bull, rooster, farmer jokes, and more!
101. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Farmer.
Farmer who?
Farmer birthday, I’m going to have a chocolate cake!
102. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Llama.
Llama who?
Llama take a selfie before we go.
103. Why was the dairy farmer limping?
Answer: Because he sprained his calf.
104. Why did the farmer cross the road?
Answer: To get his chicken back.
105. Where does a bull keep his important papers?
Answer: In his beef-case.
106. What is a llama’s favorite food?
Answer: Llama beans
107. Why can’t bulls get credit cards?
Answer: They charge too much.
108. How do roosters greet each other?
Answer: “How do you doodle-do?”
109. Why do turkeys eat quickly?
Answer: Because they are gobblers.
110. How do you stop a charging bull?
Answer: Take away its credit cards.
111. Why do hens lay eggs?
Answer: Because they break if they drop them.
112. How did the farmer find the missing cow?
Answer: He tractor down.
113. What happened when the farmer crossed a chili pepper, a shovel, and a terrier?
Answer: He got a hot-diggity-dog.
114. What new crop did the farmer plant?
Answer: Beets me.
115. Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar?
Answer: He wanted sweet and sour pork.
116. Why do cows like being told farmer jokes?
Answer: Because they like being amoosed.
117. What did the farmer say when he lost one of his cows?
Answer: What a miss-steak.
118. Why did the farmer call his pig “Ink”?
Answer: Because it was always running out of the pen.
119. Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm?
Answer: Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
120. What farm animal keeps the best time?
Answer: A watch dog.
121. What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
Answer: Laughing stock.
122. What do you call a sleeping bull?
Answer: A bull-dozer.
123. What do you call the best butter on the farm?
Answer: A goat.
124. What do you call a pig thief?
Answer: A ham-burglar.
125. What do you call a happy farmer?
Answer: A Jolly Rancher!
Related: Favorite Things Questions for Kids and Funny Jokes About Rabbits
Chicken Jokes
Chicken jokes always crack us up!
126. Where can you learn all about chickens?
Answer: In the hencyclopedia.
127. What kind of car does a chicken drive?
Answer: A coop.
128. What kind of tests do chickens take?
Answer: Egg-sams
129. Why did the chicken go to the movies?
Answer: For hen-tertainment.
130. Where do frozen chickens live?
Answer: In egg-loos.
131. Why did the pirate buy a baby chick instead of a parrot?
Answer: Because it was going cheep.
132. What game do young chicks play?
Answer: Hide and peep.
133. Why were the chickens arrested?
Answer: They were suspected of fowl play.
134. What do you get if you shake a chicken?
Answer: Scrambled eggs.
135. What do you get from bad chickens?
Answer: Deviled eggs.
136. How do chickens dance?
Answer: Chick to chick.
137. Why did the chicken go to a psychologist?
Answer: She had a fear of frying.
138. What’s a hen’s favorite food?
Answer: Eggplant
139. Which hen is the first one awake each morning?
Answer: The alarm cluck.
140. When does a chicken tiptoe?
Answer: When it is walking on eggshells.
141. Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
Answer: She was a double-crosser.
142. How do chickens use math?
Answer: They count their chickens before they’re hatched.
143. Why is it easy for chickens to find jobs?
Answer: Because they work for chicken feed.
144. On what day of the week do chickens hide?
Answer: Fry-day.
145. Why did the chicken go to the doctor?
Answer: For an egg-samination.
146. Why did the turkey cross the road?
Answer: To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
147. Why are chickens bad at baseball?
Answer: They only hit fowl balls.
148. How do chickens leave the coop?
Answer: They use the eggs-its.
149. What’s a chick’s favorite soda?
Answer: Peepsi
150. Did you hear about the chicken that applied for an office job?
How did it go?
At the interview the boss grilled him.
Related: More Jokes About Chickens and This or That Kids Questions
Pig Jokes From The Farmyard
These pig jokes will have you squealing with laughter.
151. What do you call it when two pigs jump out and surprise you?
Answer: A hambush.
152. Where do hogs find the meaning of words?
Answer: In the pigtionary.
153. How do you arrest a pig?
Answer: Put him in ham-cuffs.
154. What do pigs write letters with?
Answer: Pig pens.
155. What do you call a pig that can write with both hooves?
Answer: Ham-bidextrous
156. Why shouldn’t you play basketball with a pig?
Answer: Because they hog the ball.
157. What do you get if you cross a pig and a president?
Answer: Abra-ham Lincoln.
158. What is a hog’s favorite type of cookie?
Answer: Pig Newtons
159. Why did the pig drop out of the marathon?
Answer: Because it pulled a hamstring.
160. What do you call a sneaky pig?
Answer: Cunningham.
161. Why did the pig stop sunbathing?
Answer: Because he was bacon in the heat.
162. Why did the pig hire a maid?
Answer: Because his home looked like a pig sty.
163. What do you call a very skinny pig?
Answer: A stick in the mud.
164. Why do pigs get thrown out of games?
Answer: Because they play dirty.
165. What do you get if you cross a pig and a monster?
Answer: A hamster.
166. What do pigs rub on sore muscles?
Answer: Oinkment
167. Why can’t pigs keep secrets?
Answer: Because they squeal.
168. Why was the pig a bad driver?
Answer: Because he hogged the road.
169. Where do pigs keep their money?
Answer: In piggy banks.
170. Why did the pig get thrown out of the game?
Answer: He was playing dirty.
171. How do you fit more pigs on your farm?
Answer: Build a sty-scraper.
172. How do pigs write top-secret messages?
Answer: With invisible oink!
173. Why are pigs awful football players?
Answer: They don’t like playing with “pig skin.”
174. What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Answer: Hamwork.
175. What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
Answer: The Olympigs.
Need a reason to laugh? Check out the great benefits of laughing.
Goat & Sheep Jokes
Next, these goat and sheep jokes will make you bahhh with laughter!
176. Why is it hard to talk to a goat?
Answer: Because they’re always butting in.
177.
178. What do you get if you cross a sheep and a landmark?
Answer: The Statewe of Liberty.
179. Why do no two female sheep look alike?
Answer: Because each one is ewe-nique.
180. Where do goats get their medicine?
Answer: From the farm-acy.
181. Why was the sheep itchy?
Answer: It had fleece.
182. Where do sheep share their videos?
Answer: On ewe-tube.
183. Why did the sheep stand in the corner?
Answer: Because he’d been baa-d.
184. Why are sheep good at baseball?
Answer: They know how to baa-t.
185. Where do sheep go on vacation?
Answer: The Baa-hamas
186. What do you feed a goat?
Answer: Braa-d and butt-er.
187. What do you get when you cross a computer and a sheep?
Answer: A lot of RAM.
188. Where did the sheep get its hair cut?
Answer: At the baa-baa shop.
189. What do you call a goat’s beard?
Answer: A goatee.
190. What do you call a goat on a mountain?
Answer: A hillbilly
191. What kind of drink does a goat like on a hot summer day?
Answer: Goat-arade
192. What do you call a goat that is an expert in mixed martial arts?
Answer: The Karate kid
Related: Top Inspiring Kids Movies
193.
194. What does a goat usually have for breakfast?
Answer: Goat-meal.
195. What do the goats say when they trick their parents?
Answer: “I was just kidding!”
196. Which artist do goats love the most?
Answer: Vincent Van Goat
197. What would you call a sheep that likes to play fetch?
Answer: A sheepdog.
198. What do sheep do when they hang out?
Answer: Baabaacue.
199. What is a little goat’s favorite nursery rhyme?
Answer: Row, Row, Row your Goat.
200. What did the goat say about her veggies?
Answer: “They’re so baaaaaad!”
Related: Kids Trivia Questions & Answers and Teen Trivia Facts
Horse Jokes
Tell these horse jokes to a friend! They will get a kick out of them!
201. What do you call a horse that is starring in a play?
Answer: The mane attraction.
202. What do you call a horse with a sore throat?
Answer: A hoarse horse
203. What’s a young horse’s favorite holiday?
Answer: April Foal’s Day
204. What’s a horse’ favorite game?
Answer: Horseshoes, of course.
205. What do you feed a racehorse?
Answer: Fast food.
206. Why did the colt gain weight?
Answer: He ate like a horse.
207. What’s a horse’s favorite state?
Answer: Mare-land
208. Why did the horse sleep all day?
Answer: Because she was a nightmare.
209. Why did the horse turn in circles?
Answer: He was just horsing around.
210. Why did the horse carry a big club?
Answer: He was told to hit the hay.
211. What do you call horses in adjoining stalls?
Answer: Neigh-bors.
212. Why are horses so negative?
Answer: They say “neigh.”
213. Why aren’t horses allowed to vote?
Answer: They’re neigh-sayers.
214. What did the horse say when it fell over?
Answer: “Help! I can’t giddy-up!”
215. What kind of bread do horses like to eat?
Answer: Thoroughbred.
216. Why do cowboys like to ride horses?
Answer: Because they’re too heavy to carry.
217. What did the mother horse say to her foal?
Answer: It’s pasture bed time!
218. Why do horses look so fit?
Answer: Because they’re on a stable diet!
219. What makes a horse sneeze?
Answer: Hay fever.
220. How much money does a bronco have?
Answer: A buck.
221. What street do horses like to live on?
Answer: Main Street.
222. What’s the hardest thing about learning to horseback ride?
Answer: The ground.
223. When does a horse talk?
Answer: Whinny feels like it.
224. Why couldn’t the horse dance?
Answer: Because he had two left feet.
225. What is a horse’s favorite sport?
Answer: Stable tennis.
Related: Debate Topics for Kids & Teens
Cow Jokes
Finally, we end our list with hilarious cow jokes.
226. What happens when cows get tired of standing?
Answer: They cowlapse.
227. Where do cows go for lunch?
Answer: The calf-eteria.
Related: Funny Lunch Box Jokes
228. What do you call a cow that doesn’t drink milk?
Answer: An udder failure.
229. Why do cows wear bells around their neck?
Answer: Because their horns don’t work.
230. What kind of coffee do cows drink?
Answer: De-calf-inated.
231. Why did the cow keep away from the other cows?
Answer: She thought it was better to be seen and not herd.
232. How do you entertain a cow?
Answer: Taker her to the moo-vies
233. What did the traffic cop tell the illegally parked cow?
Answer: “Moo-ve it!”
234. What do you get if you cross a cow and a pogo stick?
Answer: A milkshake
235. What’s a cow’s favorite state?
Answer: Cow-ifornia
236. What’s a cow’s second favorite state?
Answer: Moo-souri
Related: Fun USA Trivia For Kids
237. Why was the cow frowning?
Answer: She was in a bad mooo-d.
238. What do you call cows in Alaska?
Answer: Eskimoos
239. Why are cows good at math?
Answer: They know how to count.
240. Why did the cow pack her belongings?
Answer: She wanted to moove.
241. How did the cow move?
Answer: In a mooving van.
242. Why did the cows travel to space?
Answer: They were following the Milky Way.
243. What type of magazines do cows like to look through?
Answer: Cattle-logs
244. Why do cows text their friends?
Answer: E-moo-jis.
245. What do you call a cow eating grass?
Answer: A lawn mooer.
246. How do you count cows?
Answer: With a cowculator!
247. Why are cows bad listeners?
Answer: Everything just goes in one ear and out the udder.
248. What do cows read in the morning?
Answer: The moos-paper.
249. What do you call a cow that can’t make milk?
Answer: A milk dud.
250. What does the cow band play?
Answer: Moo-sic!
Related:
To Consider With Duck Jokes
I grew up on a farm, so this list of jokes was fun to put together!
I hope you also enjoyed these duck and other farmyard animal jokes as much as I did.
Let us know in the comments if you like these duck jokes and if you would like to see more!
Also, find hilarious joke books for kids of all ages on this list!
More Funny HHI posts you’ll love…
Sources For Our Jokes About Ducks & Animals
National Geographic Kids. (2019). Just Joking Sidesplitters. National Geographic Partners. Washington, D.C.
National Geographic Kids. (2014). Just Joking 6. National Geographic Partners. Washington, D.C.
National Geographic Kids. (2018). Just Joking Jumbo 2. National Geographic Partners. Washington, D.C.
Myers, Janet. (2007). .Critter Jokes & Riddles. Sterling Pubishing Co. New York New York.