The mac & cheese wake-up call
Good morning. One of my favorite parts of parenting is watching my kids do something they couldn’t do a few months ago.
Making their own lunch. Riding a bike. Helping a sibling. Solving a problem without coming to find me first.
Those moments remind me that our goal isn’t to do everything for our kids.
It’s to prepare them to do things without us.
That kind of growth happens one small lesson, one conversation, and one opportunity at a time.
But there are a few beliefs that get in the way of that. And I held every single one of them. Today’s table is about what I had to bust through. And maybe you need this reminder too.
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TABLE WISDOM
Children must be taught how to think, not what to think.”
— Margaret Mead
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STORIES FROM THE TABLE
I used to be the mom who did everything for my family. I cooked from scratch. I picked up after them. I kept our activities running smoothly. All of it.
But multiple kids later…and I was drowning. It forced me to flip a switch and get my family to work as a team. But it also gave me a pretty nifty sixth sense.
Within minutes of talking with a mom, I can tell if she has the same thoughts holding her back.
For example, my neighbor Carrie revealed to me that she was worried about leaving her older teenage kids for a few days. You see, they didn’t know how to feed themselves.
I said, “It’s fine, just have them make mac & cheese. It’s survival.”
To which she replied, “They don’t even know how to make that.”
Yikes. But also…I get it.
There are reasons this happens. And it doesn’t happen with just cooking.
Myth #1: A good mom takes care of her kids
Let’s be real for a second. What moms did for their kids 30 years ago is NOT what moms do for their kids today.
Kids used to cook. And clean. And get jobs that helped their parents pay for things.
But…times change. (Mostly for the better)
And today, parents put on extravagant birthday parties and make separate meals so their kids don’t have to eat anything they don’t want to.
Not only is it exhausting, but we’re making it so much harder for kids later in life.
If you want kids to grow up with resiliency, responsibility, and valuable life skills, bust this myth now by teaching them to do things.
Myth #2: Everything will fall apart if I don’t do it myself
I mean, yeah, your kids will not do it exactly right. (My daughter smashed two glasses in the dishwasher the other day).
Your partner won’t either.
BUT your family is made up of awesome people. Give them more credit. (If it does fall apart, serious changes need to be made anyway)
Myth #3: I’m lazy if I’m not doing it all
If this trips you up, repeat this to yourself:
“My worth is not determined by how much I get done.”
Because it isn’t.
Being the mom who does everything makes you miserable in the end.
Rest is not your enemy. And it’s not you being lazy.
It’s your ticket to a slower life. It allows you to notice your child’s lopsided grin instead of worrying about what you still need to do.
Say it again: Your worth is not determined by how much you get done. And then go teach your kid to make mac and cheese.
CHALLENGE OF THE WEEK
Teach your child a life skill.
AFFIRMATION OF THE WEEK
I lead with love and encouragement.
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Myth #2 says it will fall apart if you don’t do it yourself. This checklist proves otherwise. And your kids do it right when they know exactly what right looks like.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
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SOMETHING TO CHEW ON
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Find the summer trivia answer at the end of the email
TABLE TALK
The moment you ask your teenager to make their own lunch and they look at you like you’ve suggested they perform surgery.
MORE FROM THE TABLE
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Trivia answer: Parrotfish poop
Teach the mac and cheese. That’s enough for today.
Thank you for sitting at the table with us. I hope you enjoyed today’s edition. If you have anything at all you’d like to share, ask, or say, just hit reply. I’d love to hear from you.
I appreciate you!
See you tomorrow at the table,
Jenn Kropf
Founder of Healthy Happy Impactful