How to Create a Fierce Not to-Do List
What do You Put on a Not to-do List?
We’ve all got thousand item to-do lists, but have you heard of a not-to-do list?
Because it may just be the secret ingredient to calming the overwhelm and distraction that we face daily. When it comes to managing your time and energy, what you DON’T do is just as important as what you DO.
So today, let’s find the tasks that don’t bring value. Start a long not to do list, and learn to let go a bit more.
First, consider the 80/20 rule. Statistically, only 20% of our efforts give us 80% of our results. This goes for anything from house cleaning to work success to fitness levels. Not all of your daily activities are created equal!
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(See the video at the end for more on the 80/20 rule!)
So first, what are the 20% of activities that bring you the MOST value in your day? These should stay on the to-do list.
Now, let’s alleviate the burden of the rest…
Best Not-to-do List Ideas
Here are general low-value examples that could make it on your new kind of list.
Checking Your Messages Often
When we want to feel productive, checking messages is an obvious choice. But email and text messages are MASSIVE time sucks. Plus, it destroys our focus on high-level tasks when we’re ping-ponging between messages and real work.
So, how many times have you checked them today? Did you REALLY need to?
Perhaps it’s time to have a designated message checking time, and remove it from the rest of your day.
Consuming Media Without a Purpose
We’ve all done it. Social media is set up so that we lose ourselves in the rabbit hole of posts, pictures, and videos. Netflix plays shows for hours without you lifting a finger.
It’s never been easier to get sucked into media.
But if you’re going on these platforms often to escape, it needs to be put on your not to do list.
Save yourself HOURS of time and do a social media detox, set a timer, or only use it when you have something specific you WANT to see.
“Gain control over your time and you gain control of your life.”
John Landis Mason
Doing Things for Your Kids They Can Do For Themselves
Nowadays, parents do MUCH more for their kids than generations of the past. Sometimes this is love. And sometimes it’s enabling. So, consider the daily activities you do that your kids could truly do themselves.
While teaching kids to be independent takes initial practice (and patience), the payoff is huge! So, if they’re young, teach them to
- get their own food
- bathe themselves
- pick up after themselves
- have a daily routine of basic good habits
You’ll be making them stronger, and freeing up enormous amounts of your time.
Doing Stuff You Hate
Cleaning the shower. Making phone calls to crabby people. Mowing the lawn.
We all have daily tasks that are a bit mundane. Some, we don’t mind doing or we find purpose in. Others, we’d trade our souls to avoid.
What are those tasks for you? Consider them for your not to do list!
Allowing Busywork to Overtake Your Life
We often overlook the difference between busy and productive.
Most people are busy, but what are they busy doing?
Make sure that busywork like long meetings, rambling people, housework, and emails are not overtaking the majority of your day.
Worry, Worry, & Worry Some More
Women, especially, struggle with this! HOURS of our lives are wasted on worrying about things that never happen. So, if this is one of your challenges put “worry” on your not-to do list and consider one of these options to keep the worries away:
For more, check out the free 2 page self-care toolkit below!
Create Your Freedom Fighting Not-to-do List
Take the examples above into account, and now let’s write!
- Sit down and look at the activities that you engaged in over the last day, week, and month. Jot down how you felt about them and whether they were effective in moving towards your values and goals. Use your 80/20 lens! (20% of your effort gives you 80% of your results)
If you can’t clearly remember your days, consider keeping a time log for a week to understand where you put your time.
2. Now, look at your future week. What activities are you doing that light you up? What are you dreading?
3. Create your fierce not to do list!
*Use the 7 day life back challenge to dig even deeper!
BUT what about things that still have to get done?
Sometimes, things still have to get done. This is especially true for parents!
So, here are strategies to employ with your not-do-list items:
Prioritize
Prioritization is essential to sorting the important from the busywork. So, prioritize your most meaningful tasks (top 20%) early in the day. By doing this early, whatever gets left behind at the end of your day was the least important anyways.
Delegate
First, think of close family and friends. How can others help with your not-to-do list? Perhaps…
- your partner can assist with more common household chores.
- someone at work can take something off of your hands that isn’t necessary for you to do.
- your kids can do the dishwasher
- you can carpool or get someone to share school drop off/pick up.
Regardless, get creative with trading tasks or asking for help.
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Delete
Yep, some things on the not-to-list need to go into the void. Yes, it would be nice if we could do them. But, this is real life! And not everything matters.
For example, I stopped folding laundry for my kids two years ago. This saves me at least 36 hours a year. And you know what? No one in my family cares. And no one in the outside world has EVER commented on my kids’ clothes.
Outsource
Alright, we’ve prioritized, delegated, and deleted what we can. What’s left are items that have to be taken care of, but it’s hard to delegate to someone you know. So, pay for help if it improves your quality of life. This could be childcare, a work assistant, house cleaning, etc.
And it also includes products that make your life easier!
Only Agree to Things You REALLY Want to Do
Finally, to fight overcommitment, only say yes to things that you’re really excited about. When someone asks you to do something, rate it between 1-10. If it’s not a 7 or above, don’t do it.
Sometimes, you have to say no to the good to make room for the great. This is living life on your terms, not the rules of those around you.
Key Strategies to Follow Through
Following through can require you to get slightly outside of your comfort zone. So, consider these ideas to get the most out of your not-to-do list:
- Set reminders to delegate, eliminate, and outsource
- Use accountability (a partner, support group, or app)
- Make a bet with someone
- Talk with your significant other or family
- Create a block schedule to better focus
- Set smart goals
- Do a challenge for something that’s important to you
- Boost your motivation daily
What’s Next?
Create your list and make a plan to use the above strategies within the next day for quick results! Then, enjoy feeling more in control of your time, without the frazzle and stress.
Now, how can you do more by doing less? What’s on your not to do list?!
Weirdly I needed this blog post a lot more than I thought before I even read it. Think it is time to create my not to list now and stick to it!!! Thank you for sharing this it has been really insightful for me!
Hannah, I’m really glad you enjoyed the post! Thank you for sharing!